Adoption (Open)

Good Timing

Mike is on a ski trip with the high school group, so it’s a good time for me to catch up on the ol’ blog. I posted more about Jason and Anna’s wedding and our trip to Colorado, and I want to share some thoughts as they’ve been swirling around in my head.

Both the kids were emotional before the trip, which was not unexpected. I mentioned in the summer that Emmie went through a phase when she wanted to talk about her adoption a lot. I remember her knocking on the car window when I was pumping gas to ask me details about how Anna felt at the hospital when she was born. She asked me if she was sad, and she wanted to talk about it right there at the gas station.

In the summer, we went through her “special things box” many times and she wanted to look at her baby books, letters written to her, and photos. She cleared one of her bookshelves and set up a display of Anna’s pictures and some of her baby things.

I’m so glad we have all of these things in her closet, and she knows she can freely look through the box. She’s cried about her adoption, and even said she wonders how life would be different if she lived with Anna. Sometimes the timing of her words sting a bit, but I know what’s going on is just the way children express themselves, looking for extra words of assurance and to know they are secure.

I admit, sometimes I’m sensitive about it. One time Jake said he’s glad he doesn’t have my DNA. Believe me, there are days when I wish I didn’t have my own DNA. I drive myself crazy! But his comment made me cry. It ended up being one of the sweetest mother/son moments we’ve had because he was broken-hearted over it and asked for forgiveness. I’ll never hold a comment like that as a grudge, but things like that are addressed and we always talk things out. My kids show enormous amounts of affection and love toward me and I know they feel secure in my love, too.

Jake is twelve so he can be moody with the best of them, but he’s still so tenderhearted. He’s a deep feeler and a deep thinker. I knew he was struggling with some things the week before our trip. I decided it was a good time for him to listen to a CD we have that Jordana gave us after he was born. She shared her story at her church one night and they recorded it. It is awesome! I’ve prayed about when to share it with Jake, and it was clear to me that it was the right time. In her words, she explained why she chose adoption and how she accepted Jesus as her savior around the same time she was making decisions about her pregnancy.

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Jake had a sweet conversation with Jordana when we went to her house the day after Anna’s wedding. I’m so thankful they had time together at the end of the evening to hang out. I know for a fact that it meant a lot to him.

We loved getting together with her family, by the way. Jordana’s brother and sister and their families came over for the day, and we had one of the BEST meals of my life.

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Jordana and her mom made bacon-wrapped shrimp with homemade teriyaki sauce. I could’ve eaten one after another. The entire family loves to cook. For dinner we had grilled flank steak with homemade chimichurri sauce, ribs, vegetables, and potatoes. Stefanie made homemade chocolate peppermint cake balls that were SO good. We had a great evening, with lots of laughter and story telling, and I’m so grateful for our time together. It was really nice.

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The next morning we met Jordana for breakfast at a little place in town called Lucille’s Creole Cafe. She and I went to Lucille’s before – back in 2002, when she was 40 weeks pregnant with Jake.

One bite of the beignets and he must’ve thought, “oh yeahhh…I remember these.”

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Jordana is one of the easiest people to talk to, and we had a great breakfast. I loved being together.

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This trip was such a great thing for our kids. For all of us. I’m truly thankful.

 

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