Sincere Thoughts on Being a Mom

It’s Just a Phase

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From the looks of this picture – these sweet smiling cherubs covered in flour from baking sugar cookies for Valentine’s Day/Birthday – you would never know. You wouldn’t even guess the dramatics we’ve had this week.

Mini is going through a hard stage. She cries and feels anxious when I leave her. Every.stinkin.time.  She hasn’t ever had separation anxiety to this degree. She goes on and on about how much she’ll miss me. It has suddenly become a huge thing. She clings to my leg and begs me not to make her stay – even though she’s always loved going to these activities. It builds well in advance and let me tell you, the pleas are worthy of an Oscar.  My confident, bouncy, independent, full-of-life girl has done a complete 180 on me.

Also.

Max is going through a tough phase, as well. It’s called long division.

I think we’ve made strides with Mini. To adopt a phrase from the Bachelor, I had a moment of clarity. During this morning’s dramatics before Mother’s Day Out, I sat down with her to make a to-do list. Something I know about my girl is that she is Type A all the way, so lists and reward stickers are a big deal.  At first, she didn’t want to play along and cried hard after I wrote 1. get dressed, 2. go to Mother’s Day Out.

But after I added 1. and 2. I let her come up with the rest of the list. The prize for going to MDO with a happy heart and completing her list was that she could open one of her presents early.

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Combined, those things had enough pull to move her feet towards the door.

Plus, Max seized the opportunity to get out of math for a few minutes and had a brother/sister talk on the stairs. It was so sweet. He said “Mini, it’s okay to miss Mom. I miss Mom too. But when I’m away from her I don’t really miss her that much anymore.”

ahem.

The drop-off was still shaky, but when we picked her up from MDO she was all smiles. With a balloon in her hand and a box full of Valentines, she climbed into the van and thanked Max for comforting her, and that it was the best day ever.

Okay. Maybe this picture genuinely tells the story, after all.

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5 thoughts on “It’s Just a Phase

  1. I’m wondering… your baby girl was without you when you went through your medical procedure, might have been scary enough for her to want to keep you close now….

  2. Julie, I think you nailed it. As I read the post, the very same thought went through my head. During the past year, she experienced Max’s emergency hospitalization and critical situation, plus a few months earlier she visited me several times at the hospital following my surgery so the thought of Mommy connected to a zillion tubes and wearing funny looking gowns was really scary for Mini.

  3. I agree, I think it’s directly related. This is just one of those times when it takes more to reassure her that I’m there. She still seems surprised that I’m able to pick her up, asking if it hurts my tummy. She needs lots of hugs and kisses and I love that, of course. It wasn’t such a bad thing when Mike brought her from Sunday School to sit with me in church. She just sat on my lap and cuddled with me the entire service. But honestly, I just need her back to her routine. The stress is getting to me.

  4. Praying you all can get back to some sort of normal routine. I totally understand the stress. Angel has always had these fears but the past few years even more so with me. We struggled to “connect” the first few years and she was more of a daddy’s girl and so I’m very thankful that I can say we have really made an attachment. But at the same time it’s so exhausting having to constantly reassure her. And unfortunately I often lose my patience and don’t do a good job. As you know we’ve had alot of change in our life the past year and I know that just expands on her fears – I am so ready for some “normal” too. 🙂

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