Adoption (Open) · Stories about Emmie

An Interview With Mini’s Birthmom

Thank you all for your sweet words of encouragement.

I had a very, very long day and my foot hurts.

But I made a small bowl of guac.

I mashed half an avocado with a fork, threw a tablespoon of chopped red onion in, some salt, and squeezed just a little bit of a lemon.  I had no cilantro but did I miss it this time?  Not sure.  It was a little oniony but otherwise perfect.  And we were having quesadillas for dinner so it was destiny.

I love quesadillas.

Cheese is my favorite food.

Tortillas, a close second.

Chocolate, a definite third.

But chocolate is not recommended in a quesadilla.

Now that you know a little more about me, I wanted to share some things about someone else who’s very special to me.  I had this idea to interview A. and emailed her the questions reaaaally late one night.  She was very excited to participate.

Thanks for being a guest on my blog today, A.  Oh, by the way, since you’re 18 now and you’ve discussed it with your parents, I hear it’s okay to introduce you to my friends by your real name.  You have no idea how much I wanted to blurt this out after you chose us to adopt Mini while you were pregnant.

How often does a birthmom and an adoptive mom have the SAME name?  I mean, that’s just cool.

So, Anna.  Thanks for being my guest today.

Well, thank you, Anna, for having me.  And yes, my name is Anna, spelled the same as Anna.  Having two Anna’s around doesn’t make things confusing at ALL!  Right, Anna?

Not at all!  Great response, Anna.  This is going to be good.

So this week is a very significant time for both of us.  On Monday Mini had her first birthday and, from the perspective of the adoptive mom, I can’t celebrate such a milestone without thinking of you.

There isn’t a single day that goes by that I don’t thank God for you (and Max’s birth mom, too) – remembering your choice that allowed me to be Mommy to the most beautiful children on Earth.  But this week, my thoughts have lingered a while longer than usual.  I remember all the details…

I’m guessing the same thing is going on this week for you, too.  So I thought we’d go back in time a bit and have a little fun with remembering the days when you were expecting Mini.  You took such good care of her while she was forming in your womb and I’d love to hear some details about what your pregnancy was like.  You know how I like to document the little things.  Probably some people are thinking this is weird but let’s just go with it.  Let’s have a little fun.

It might also be weird that I’m incredibly excited to talk about being pregnant! haha

My first question:  What foods did you crave during your pregnancy?

Oranges.  Orange juice, those HUGE tropicana oranges, orange gum, orange tic-tacs, orange soda (yummy most definitely, but also caffeine free!)…anything with an orange flavor.  And cucumbers with ranch.  I used to go through a whole cucumber a day.

Did you eat a lot of chocolate?  Because it seemed with Mini and chocolate, it wasn’t just love at first sight.  She’d had this magic before.

OH girlfriend! I had chocolate everyday.  I ate a lot of those little Dove chocolates…MMM…still my favorite!

What foods gave you heartburn?

Hmm…well not very many things gave me heartburn.  I just remember getting heartburn in the middle of the night…Rolaids became my best friend.

What was the first maternity item you bought?

The very first thing I bought was 2 little comfy jacket/pant suits, and a few shirts.  My belly grew fast.

What time of day was Mini most active?

She was most active in the evenings.  I’m still convinced she’s gonna be a boxer…all the rolling and kicking she did!

Did she wake you up in the middle of the night?  Because, um, she does to me sometimes.

No. She was very calm at night.  She would kick me every so often and scare the crap out of me, but I would just giggle and go back to sleep.

What kind of music did you listen to?

I listened to a lot of things.  Rap, country, pop…but I used to play “You Raise Me Up” by Josh Groban for her a lot.  It’s surprising how hard it is to keep those ear phones around your belly! haha

Did you listen to heavy metal?  Because she likes to headbang on occasion.

blog_mini-head-banging

OH no ma’am I do not listen to that screamo noise.  She must get it from John 😉

I heard your friend Kara was very protective over you when you walked down the hallway at school.  Is that true?

YEAH she was! If someone wasn’t paying attention or would get even CLOSE to bumping into me, she’d yell “EXCUSE YOU” hehe

Once you and John made the decision to place Mini for adoption and were ready to choose a family, what was on your “must have” list?  Be honest, I can take it.

It’s funny you ask that…you were the complete opposite of my lists!

1.  They had to be good looking…in good shape SCREECH. (I hit the jackpot with you two on that one though.) Whew, good recovery.

2.  I had to know I could trust that they would allow me to be a part of her life.

3.  They had to live in state.

What was on your “must NOT have” list?

1.  No children…adopted or biological.

2.  No cats.

3.  No birds.

4.  No one in the military.

I’m glad you had an open mind!

When we met in person do you remember that I gave you socks?  Mike thought that was a weird gift but I said hey, socks are cool.  Are socks cool?

Socks are SO fun, and since I wasn’t going to be wearing shoes anytime soon, socks were PERFECT.  And they were pink!

I noticed that you wore the socks after Mini was born.  That made me smile.

I LOVE them.  I wear them all the time… I’ve even noticed a few holes. 😦

What are your favorite memories from Mini’s birth?

1.  Hearing Max cheer “Come on Anna! You can do it! Push her out!” over the phone.

2.  I won’t ever forget the look on your face when you walked into my hospital room. in complete awe.

3.  When I asked Mike “Would you like to hold her?” His response was “DOO I wanna hold her!?!”

4.  Texting my mom’s friend for her, while walking around the delivery floor, while in labor and stopping every now and again for a contraction.

5.  After the nurses took Mini to weigh her, I looked over to where she was and I saw my daddy pull out his hanky and dry a few tears from his eyes.

6.  What you said to me after I handed Mini over to you right before we left the hospital.

7.  How flaming mad my Mom was after we found out those dumb nurses took Mini from you in the middle of the night…I still giggle about that one!

8.  Holding her in my arms, knowing someday she’ll love me as much as I love her.

(I can’t see the computer screen through my tears…wait a sec)

How many people came to visit you in the hospital, like a hundred?

More like a million! Let me count…I had at least 11 visitors before discharge.

The time we shared before we left the hospital was very special.  That was extremely hard and emotional.  But thank you for allowing us to be apart of those tender moments and seeing for ourselves how much you love Mini.

I know she’s loved by you forever.  Thank you so, so much for that.

****

The following is an excerpt from a letter that Anna wrote to Mini for her birthday.

To fall head over heels in love with someone you had only met was something I never thought was possible. When I found out I was pregnant with you, my whole world shifted. But once I saw your beautiful face and heard your first cry, I knew you would always be the most important thing in my life. That’s why I chose adoption for you. I know in the next few years to come, this may be hard for you to understand, but I don’t ever want you to think I chose adoption because I didn’t want you. You wont remember, but when you left the hospital with your Mommy and Daddy, I whispered “I love you” in your ear before I said goodbye. No matter the number of miles between us, my heart beats only for you. I’ve only wanted the very best for you, knowing I couldn’t be the one to provide it.

When I was growing up, my Mom used to say “you’ll understand when you have kids.” When she’d buy me a new shirt instead of something she really wanted, the answer was always “you’ll understand when you have kids.” And as much as I used to hate to admit it, Mom was right once again. I understand now because I have you. There comes a day when you have to buck up and put your big girl pants on. Even though giving you up was THE hardest thing I’ve ever done, I was struttin’ in those big girl pants and I did what was right for you. You mattered more to me than I mattered to myself. Within the 9 months of my pregnancy, I grew up faster than anyone I had ever met. Not only did I have my own future resting in my (then) 17 year old hands, but yours was left up to me as well. This is why God carefully worked out every detail of your adoption. So always know that no matter what, I love you more than life itself.

No matter how old you are or what you’ve been through, I figured out you never stop learning. I never knew I could acquire so much from a 1 year old that can barely talk and just started walking. You taught me what selfless love really feels like, the importance of knowing how to put yourself last and how a 5 lb. 15 oz. baby girl can instantly become the center of which your world revolves around. But the best thing you’ve showed me is even though I miss you so much, my heart is left at peace knowing you’re in the best place possible. You give me hope Mini. When you left, a piece of my heart went with you. But I hold the love you will have for me someday in that empty space. So keep your heart and mind open to all possibilities. You never know who or what you may learn from.

Happy birthday beautiful.

Until we see each other again…

e-2


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18 thoughts on “An Interview With Mini’s Birthmom

  1. No one else could have said it more beautifully than Anna herself. This was absoutely remarkable and it touched my heart in so many ways.

  2. Oh you girls are making me weepy, weepy, weepy this morning. That is beautiful. Thank you both for sharing your thoughts with us, such a precious thing. Mini will absolutely treasure things like this as she grows!! Beautiful story!!

  3. Beautiful, just beautiful. I am in awe of Anna and her beautiful maturity. Her love for Mini is amazing. Mini is such a blessed girl to be loved by so many wonderful people.

    This post just made my day! Thank you so much for sharing such an intimate part of your lives (Anna & Anna!).

  4. WOW.. what a touching letter!! You all make such an amazing family..that little girl is the luckiest girl in the world!
    Not very many people get to have 2 mom’s that love them more than anything else in the world!
    What a great post…

  5. From one Anna to you two Anna’s,

    You BOTH amaze me! What a relationship and testimony! I loved the question and answer part but my favorite was the excerpt from Anna’s letter. I cried from the start of it and am still teary eyed. Beautiful! Mini is lucky to have you both!

  6. Anna, (Mini’s birthmom, not the *other* Anna)
    I want you to know that Mini’s adoptive mom and dad have been dear friends of mine for almost as long as you have been alive!

    They are two of the most God-fearing, honest, and humble people I have ever met. They earnestly live their lives in the face of God, submitting to His will, even when (no, especially when) it is a hard thing.

    They love Mini more than words can say and have a devotion to each other and to their family which is more and more rare in our culture.

    They are each people of distinction and are remarkable parents. Thank you for being willing to do what was hard. I’m glad that you did. You could not have chosen a better family for your little girl. I know that she will be loved, blessed, challenged and encouraged by her mom and dad all of her life. I’m keeping my eye on them, and they are each doing a great job!

    Thank you for sharing your birth-daughter with us, and thank you for sharing your heart with us as well.

    In Christ,
    Tom Cooper

  7. Wow, what wonderful words of wisdom from a young woman so young in years. This brought tears to my eyes…You both will be blessed because of your sacrifical love for this little blessing, called Mini.

  8. I am so thankful to have an older sister like Anna. Through her pregnancy, she would share all the awesome experiences that she had with little Mini inside her tummy, and I thought that was the coolest thing. I love Both you Anna’s!!!!! 🙂 I will never forget your lovely family, Anna.

  9. This is for Anna (the birth-mom, since I’ve written to the other Anna a couple of times before):
    I cried when I read your letter. I’m speechless. I was thinking about self-less mother’s love just today. I guess I’ll understand when I become a mother too.
    I bow at your awesome strength. I’m really touched.

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