Adoption (Open) · Stories about Emmie

Open Adoption – A Letter From Mini’s Birth Grandmother

The same weekend that we met A. & J. for the first time, we had dinner with A’s parents and sisters at their home.  I’ve got to say, meeting A’s parents gave me big-time butterflies.  I wanted to make a good impression and not say stupid things.  I’m sure I did anyway (in fact, I’m pretty certain I broke out into singing a jingle at the dinner table).

A.’s mom and I hit it off right away, though.  (Same with her dad and sisters, but this post is especially regarding Tina.)  We seemed to have a lot in common, at least in the way we both appreciate the little things in life that make the world interesting and fun.  She treasures the big and small things and she has the biggest of hearts.  People matter to her more than anything.  We talked easily about all kinds of things, including family and friends, and how those friends just ended up becoming part of the family.

Tina has been an awesome example of a supportive, loving, and giving mom.  She and A. have a close relationship and there’s no question that she’d do anything for her daughter.   Even the hardest of things.  With selfless love, she watched her oldest daughter carry and give birth to her first grandchild.  Then she stood by her side when the baby was lovingly, yet tearfully, placed for adoption with another family.

Absolutely selfless.

Tina is very special to us and she’ll always be a precious part of Mini’s adoption story.  She wrote a letter to Mini and gave me permission to share it with you.  I really wanted for you to see a glimpse of what open adoption means to the birth mother’s mom.  After reading it, please leave her a comment if you’d like.

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Dear Mini:

First I want to say, HAPPY ADOPTION DAY!!! You have such a wonderful family and are one lucky little girl. I hope you will realize and always know how much you are loved from one end of this country to the other and a bunch in between. Even though you are at what seems like the other end of the world, I have enjoyed watching you grow. I fell in love with your Mommy, Daddy, and Max when I first met them just as quickly as I fell in love with you the day you were born.

I want you to know that God had a plan for you even before we knew you were coming. When A told us that she was pregnant, God spoke to my heart and told me that I was not to be the one to raise you. He had better people in mind for you. God knew and I knew that we could not give you the life you deserved.

Living through the 6 months before you were born was not easy but I put all my faith and trust in God and He helped me through it. I always prayed that you and A would be healthy. I also prayed that Mommy, Daddy and Max would make it to the hospital in time for you to be born but you had other plans, you came 4 days earlier! As I look back, it was good for A to be able to spend that time alone with you.

I see so much of A’s personality in you and that makes me smile and my heart leap for joy. She is a wonderful young lady and has always been happy and loves life. She has LOTS of friends and seems to be who people come to for counseling and help with the teenage stuff. She is a smart girl and plans to be an Adoption Counselor and someday, maybe a lawyer too. She wants you to be proud of her.

I don’t ever want you to think that you were adopted because A didn’t want you. Oh no, no, no, that was never the case. She loves you so much that she only wants the best for you. She knew there was no way she could provide for you and give you all the wonderful things you deserve out of life. She hand picked your family for you because she loves you that much and knew they could give you all those things.

I must tell you that I take full credit for your middle name. Mommy, Daddy and A had decided that Mommy and Daddy would pick out your first name and A could pick out your middle name. It was when your Mommy and Daddy were visiting here for the first time and we were sitting in church that I had an “Ah Ha” moment. I was thinking about you, A, your Mommy and Daddy, and our Pastor’s wife. I know that seems weird but she had trouble having babies and said that if she had another girl she would name her Hope because she always hoped she could have another baby. I thought about the word “Hope”. I knew that your Mommy and Daddy hoped for a long time they would be able to adopt another baby. I thought about how having your Mommy and Daddy adopt you gave A hope. I thought about how this adoption would give you hope for a wonderful life. And last but not least, the adoption agency, Hope’s Promise, gave us all hope. I leaned over and whispered to A that your middle name should be Hope. We all agreed, it was a done deal!!

Now, let’s talk about your brother for a minute. Isn’t he the greatest kid ever??? I have to tell you that the first time we ever got to meet him in person was at the hospital the day you were born. He came right in the room and climbed up in the bed with A like he had known her all his life. She asked him what he thought of you, his new little sister, and he said, “I think she’s great and I love her beautiful hair.” He started protecting you and taking care of you right then and will forever. And isn’t that kid the funniest??? I can tell in the pictures of you two together that he cracks you up just like he does me. He has a certain spark in his eye and you just never know what he’s thinking. I know he will teach you a lot of things that big brothers teach little sisters. He also promised A that he would take good care of you.

My wish for you, Mini, is that you will always be happy, always have the Lord in your heart, always know that you are loved by many people, and that you will always reach beyond your dreams. I hope this Adoption Day is only one of many happy and joyous days in your life.

I love you.

A’s Mom, Tina

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20 thoughts on “Open Adoption – A Letter From Mini’s Birth Grandmother

  1. She is one lucky little Mini to be so loved. Beautiful letter, with God’s love and providence shining through. And I agree that her middle name is perfect on so many levels.

  2. What a wonderful letter. She so eloquently explains the different emotions that she, A, and you went through… and through it all shines the amazing light of LOVE! What a lucky little girl. And I pray that thousands of other children will feel that same kind of love in the coming year.

  3. That is precious! It has me in tears of joy!!! This is the reason that although God has blessed us with the miracle of a surprise pregnancy, we are staying fully active with our journey to open adoption. God’s plans are way bigger than us and we can’t wait to see what he’s going to do in our lives! We know God led our hearts to open adoption, it is truly such a beautiful thing! Thanks so much for asking her if you could share this. It is a fabulous story of how things work!!

  4. Thank you for writing such a loving letter. I am very impressed with you. I want to assure you that Mini is cherished here in Maryland, and not just by her parents and family. She is a special girl with a special story.

  5. Would someone please pass me a tissue?

    Tina, I found your letter to be amazingly beautiful and it isn’t even my story. Imagine just how much it will mean to Mini as she grows into the woman of God that he He created her to be… Goodness, it takes my breathe away.

    Blessings too on A, for exercising what I consider (and I know from first hand experience) to be the most extreme exercise and expression of unconditional love. Both you and Mini can be so, so proud of her…

    I love this blog because it is about my all time favorite things: adoption, family, homeschooling and most of all our awesome, awesome God! It’s a one stop blog…

  6. Wow…what a great letter to be passed on to Mini when she is older. It is obvious that her ENTIRE family loves her…What a blessing you are to her!! Thanks for allowing Anna to share this letter with us….it blessed me tremendously.

  7. What a beautiful testiment to what are obviously amazing women! Mini is so blessed to be so loved and to have such amazing women to model after. Thank you Tina for your beautiful letter and than you Anna for sharing it!

  8. How beautiful. Thank you Anna for sharing it and thank you Tina for writing this amazing letter to Mini. She is blessed beyond measure. And thank you for sharing about her middle name. Wow, what a precious gift.

  9. I can’t even tell you the way in which this letter moved my heart. I sit here with tears rolling down my cheeks… Beautiful. I only hope to be such a mother.

  10. That is true beauty in all of it’s raw and loving grace. I can’t even tell you what “hope” those words bring to me, in our journey to hopefully adopt…someday.

    Bravo Tina, and A. What a cherished gift and treasure your faith has brought to Anna and her loving family.

  11. I’ve heard only wonderful things about Tina and after reading that beautiful letter I know why. Mini is blessed to have come from such a loving supportive family. Words can not begin to express the gratitude that I, as her adoptive “Nana” feel toward everyone in your family Tina. Mini has brought so much joy and love into our lives that I can’t even imagine being without her. We’ve loved Max from the moment we saw him and we feel the same way about Minnie. Your family has given us the most precious gift that a human can give. With all our hearts we thank you all.

  12. Oh, I started crying before I even got to the letter!

    Having walked through the adoption process at the same time as Anna and having prayed so fervently for Anna, her family and for Mini and for A and her family, I am just so thankful to see how God has put together the most amazing story ever.

    I know all too well that adoption stories can be full of heartache and hurt, yet I see such hope in Mini’s story! Thank you Anna for sharing it with us, and thank you Tina for sharing your heart!

  13. Wow. I wish I had the words to express what this letter meant to me. I, too, was going through the adoption process at the same time and have a semi-closed adoption. I have recently written to the birthmother who I have met and loved and offered to meet her with Jacob and that I’d love to meet her Mom and Dad as well.

    Even though I’ve never met her parents, I feel such an enormous amount of respect for them and the sacrifice they made.

    Thank you, Tina, for being such a wonderful part of Mini’s story and for loving the whole family like you do (although I’d have to say it’s hard NOT to!) This is an amazing example of love at its finest.

  14. Very moving…I read it and re-read it. Yes what love in her words. Thanks for sharing it with me/us. :o) You know how it affected me. The good thing about it is the healing I have now because of the reunion with Michael. God is SO good!

  15. Wow! i just sat here and cried as I read this. What a wonderful legacy Mini has. My kids are adopted too and we all think that birth families are heros! What a sweet letter full of love. I pray God’s blessings on Tina, A, and the rest of their family.

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