Adoption (Open) · Sincere Thoughts on Being a Mom

I Want To See Skies of Blue, Not Feelings of Blue

Have you ever been on a short-term missions trip? In high school I went on a few trips and Mike went on one a couple of years ago to Indonesia. The time you spend with your team is amazing, your adrenaline takes over, and you witness things that you thought were impossible back home. God stretches you as he shows you a new part of Himself. Physically, spiritually, and emotionally you are pushed to the limit and you end up experiencing these intense growing pains. Good growing pains.

Then you come home. You talk about the trip non-stop with friends and family and you ride this feeling of new growth and understanding of how God works. You just climbed a huge mountain.

Now that you’re home, though, you try to transition back into your normal routine. Yet for some reason, there may be new obstacles this time around. Physically, spiritually, and emotionally you are once again pushed to your limit. Some days you may even feel blue and feel like you’re stuck in a valley. You miss the mountain.

That’s exactly how I feel right now. I have been experiencing a bit of post-adoption blues as I’m settling into our daily routine. I know it’s temporary but it’s still hard. A lot, and I mean a lot, has to do with the fact that I’m so tired. I feel easily overwhelmed. I can’t seem to finish anything I start. And I try to start stupid things like clean the refrigerator shelves before cleaning up after lunch. I never clean my refrigerator shelves, so what’s up with that?

Life is really good right now, don’t get me wrong. In fact, most days I’m feeling blissful. I know you understand what I’m saying, but that is what this blog is for. I’m just getting it out there because I don’t want to keep it to myself.

I’m trying to be aware of it and do something healthy in response. I’m trying to focus on the here and now and be thankful. Mike has been amazing in taking care of Max and working from home in the early mornings so I can get some sleep. That’s a huge help to me. This afternoon I called a good friend and we’re going to go on a walk with our kiddos later on.

And I’m sitting here blogging, talking myself out of having a big ol’ cry about things like smudgy refrigerator shelves.

It seems to be working!

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10 thoughts on “I Want To See Skies of Blue, Not Feelings of Blue

  1. Sleep deprivation is always the hardest for me when there is new baby in the house! I’m glad that you’re talking through your blues and maybe you’ll sweat them out on your walk today!

  2. Just let it all out. Cry. Then go have a big Resees chocolate peanut butter egg. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I totally know how you feel. I mean, not exactly how YOU feel, but that general feeling of coming down off the mountain top. ((hug))

  3. I think bit by bit, nap by nap you will begin to see bluer skies again. I hope it helps to get your feelings out and to know you aren’t alone. And your fridge is clean, go ahead and cross that off your list.

  4. I went through this when I went back to work. Not only was I mad about having to work outside the home I was so overwhelmed – it was so much harder than I thought. I seriously thought I was going to lose my mind. Hang in there. I love what Holly said, bit by bit, nap by nap you’ll see bluer skies again. That’s so true. Just take each day, each hour, each minute. Thanks for sharing your heart. Know that we’re praying for you!

  5. {{{hugs}}} and prayers. everything seems so much bigger when we are tired. that has always been the hardest part about adjusting to a new baby for me. hope you get a good nap today!

  6. I find that a big ole cry works wonders…then chocolate ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Hope you are feeling better – I see you got some sleep. She is so precious. I have enjoyed catching up with you all tonight!

    God Bless.

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